Question

I am getting married to a man soon. His mother is widowed and she depends on her 4 children for financial support and also living situations. My fianc' is the youngest child, and also the only one who isn't married or has children yet, so he supports her the most, and she lives with him currently. He is very loving and protective of her. When we get married, he said she will be staying with us for months at a time, and then with the other siblings for the rest of the time. I don't like this concept, I believe that her stay will cause problems with me and my husband and me and her because she is so dependent. I am very independent, and I don't want anyone staying in my home for long periods of time. Is it wrong of me to think like this? Am I obligated to have her stay and take care of her?

Answer

Happy Marriage ' Living with Peace and Harmony at Home

'And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from amongyourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who
reflect.' [Al-Qur'an 30: 21]

May Allah bless you and your family to live in peace and harmony!

Marriage is an institute which can be as firm as a rock or weak as a thread, it is up to the partners to make it either one. We have to learn to be tolerant of each other for the pleasure of Allah.

It is the responsibility of both husband and wife to give 100% effort to make their marriage successful and their home peaceful and Islamic. At the time of concern and tension in domestic affairs, our advice is to review your life pattern and check to see in how many ways you can come closer to Allah.
One who corrects his relationship with Allah, Allah will correct his relationship with the rest of the creation.

Looking for rights or love?

'Do not go by the book of 'My Rights'. Go by the book of Love, Ihsaan and khidmat. In other words, if every person goes out of his or her way to fulfill the rights of others, instead of demanding his or her own rights,
or goes a step further than just fulfillment of rights, i.e. he or she goes out of his or her way to be kind, caring, loving and forgiving, then automatically this world will become a paradise.

The unfortunate part is that the husband opens the chapter of his rights and the wife opens the chapter of her rights. The parents open the chapter of their rights, and the children, of their rights. The teacher, his rights and the pupils, their rights, and then everyone demands fulfillment
of these rights.

No doubt, rights have been declared so that no person should stop short of their fulfillment, but you cannot have a peaceful society if there is just demand for rights and no fulfillment of corresponding obligations.'

(Hedyatus Saalikeen, selected quotes by Shaykh Yunus Patel, 1998)

Manners and protection of tongue:

From our elders we have learned that the best method and the best du'a to increase the love between the husband and the wife is to obtain great morals and etiquettes and to guard our tongue. By doing both of those, one will be able to attract your spouse into a never ending love.

Sister, please have faith in Allah, insha Allah it will not be a problem for you in future. By caring for an elderly person, her Duas will inshaAllah benefit you in this life and the hereafter.
 

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

Note: The rulings giving herein are based on the religious rulings of the Islamic Law and do not have any implications on the Law of the Country. The rulings given hereunder are specifically based on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question. AskAlimah.com site bears no responsibility to any party who may or may not act on this answer. AskAlimah.com site being hereby exempted from loss or damage howsoever caused. This answers may not be used as evidence in any Court of Law without prior written consent of the web site.

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