Conversation on phone before marriage

Question

My husband has been passed away one year back. Now my parents advising me to get married. So they came up with a guy and his father asked my family that the guy wants to talk to me on phone. So please advise me this kind of conversation is permitted just to know the nature of each other before marriage and to know whether the proposal is a right match for us or not. Moreover, Alhamduliallah I have became very punctual towards my salah and following as much as the way of Sunnah since last one year. I only need a pious guy and one who never miss his salah in any condition. this is my third marriage. So being a girl its not easy for me to get a perfect match. So please advise me what should I do and our conversation on phone just to understand each other is right or wrong.

Answer

May Allah bless you with Taqwa and Imaan. Ameen.

Since you are not engaged to this person yet and are trying to find out if he is a suitable partner for you, I would advise that you talk to him with a third person present. You should write down all the questions and issues you feel are necessary and important to discuss before you agree to a marriage, and keep it to that point, nothing beyond that. If you are satisfied with his answers, we strongly advise that you make Istikharah on this matter. Do not talk to him more than you need to, and definitely not alone; as the Prophet (May peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, 'No man is alone with a woman but the shaytaan is the third one present.'

Unnecessary communication between a man and a woman before marriage can lead to many issues. You will never truly know a person until you live with him, so talking unnecessarily before marriage has no basis in Islam, as he would still be na-mahram to you. You also risk losing the barakah in the potential relationship that Allah has made pure for you.

Finding a spouse whose heart is connected to the deen is extremely important. If he has that fear in Allah, he will always treat his wife and family in the best manner and will support his family in work of deen. I suggest you perform Salatul Istikhara to see if this is the right match for you, especially since you said you are punctual in your deeni matters.

You can also bring up religion with him and see how he feels about it, or about you practicing it. Maybe you may become a source of hidayah for this person, but only Allah can tell you.

I would recommend making a lot of dua for a pious husband, while abstaining from sins and remaining punctual in your salah and doing righteous deeds. Please know that this is indeed a trial for you from Allah. May He make you steadfast in deen and make it easy for you to follow His way in choosing a spouse.

The Dua for Istikhara can be found here:

http://www.islameasy.org/images/Treasures-Large/46.htm

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

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