Love boundaries | Ask Alimah

Question

sister,I'm in love with my cousin, we chat almost everyday , but not anything related to love but still i'm afraid that i may say something wrong which may be a shame for me in my future, i'm afraid that i may say something which will make me ashamed even to have eye contact with him when i actually meet him. i dont know if he has same feelings for me as i have for him, thats one of the reason why i'm scared to say something wrong. what should i do? i cant bear the thought of not chatting with him. my sister asked me to distance myself from him since when i chat with him,i'm closer to him so its easy to say something inappropriate. but it hurts to even think that i have to distance myself from him. i'm a teenager of about 16 and half, sister give me an advice that can help me.

Answer

May Allah bless you with piety (Taqwa) and purity, strong Imaan, forgiveness of sins, have mercy on you, elevate your status, and bless you with knowledge of Deen and generosity. Ameen!

Respected sister, even if a man is engaged with a woman, he is still a
non-Mahram until the actual Nikah is made. Meeting alone or going out with
this person is not allowed for her. It is required to observe complete Hijab with him until the Nikah is done.

Islam does not encourage pre-marriage love relationships between a male and female who are non-Mahram to each other. There are limits in Islam regarding love relationships before marriage. Please read more in this
article:

Cure for Pre-Marriage Love Relationship which does not lead to a Marriage
http://www.islameasy.org/Cure_PreRelations.php

You may read 2 Rakah of Nafl Salah, with intention of Taubah and Salatul
Hajat. This is performed like any other Salaah.

After the Salaah, you should recite the following Dua. You may print these
pages from web and recite from printed pages or from computer after the
Salaah. It is not required to memorize these Dua or read it inside Salaah.

Taubah (from any act of disobedience and sins)
The method is described at http://islameasy.org/images/Treasures-Large/47.htm

Salat-ul Hajat
The method is described at http://islameasy.org/Dua_Hajat.php

(Ask Allah to ease difficulty, clean the heart to focus on good deeds.
Also ask Allah to show you if that person was really sincere to you or
not).

You may study the following books and articles:

Cure for depression
http://islameasy.org/Cure_Depression.php

Easy Road to Paradise - Golden deeds that lead to success - extracted from
a booklet in Urdu 'Jannat ka Asan Rasta' by Shaykh Mufti Mohammad Rafi
Uthmani. http://www.islameasy.org/EasyRoad_Paradise.php]

Why is Hijab necessary?
http://islameasy.org/hijab.php

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

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