Question

My husband hates me but I love him, he is the center of my life and I think its difficult to live without him, but still some times I become strong and ask him to divorce me, he says that he loves me and he will not leave me in any situation, but he makes my life miserable.

Answer

May Allah bless you and your family to live in peace and harmony!

Marriage is an institute which can be as firm as a rock or weak as a thread, it is up to the partners to make it either one. We have to learn to be tolerant of each other for the pleasure of Allah 'Do not go by the book of 'My Rights'. Go by the book of Love, Ihsaan and khidmat. In other words, if every person goes out of his or her way to fulfill the rights of others, instead of demanding his or her own rights, or goes a step further than just fulfillment of rights, i.e. he or she goes out of his or her way to be kind, caring, loving and forgiving, then automatically this world will become a paradise.

The unfortunate part is that the husband opens the chapter of his rights and the wife opens the chapter of her rights. The parents open the chapter of their rights, and the children, of their rights. The teacher, his rights and the pupils, their rights, and then everyone demands fulfillment
of these rights.

No doubt, rights have been declared so that no person should stop short of their fulfillment, but you cannot have a peaceful society if there is just demand for rights and no fulfillment of corresponding obligations.'

(Hedyatus Saalikeen, selected quotes by Shaykh Yunus Patel, 1998, South Africa)

Ask yourself the reason of your spouse's mistrust. You should always reassure your spouse of your love. If this is due to a mistake in the past, then seek to regain the love and confidence by displaying your love, regret (on the mistake), and make commitment to the marriage. Be ever
cautious of not repeating the same error that had caused the problem.

InshaAllah, with your effort and good character, your spouse will feel like doing the same.

You can recite Ayat 21 of Surah Rome [Qur'an 30: 21]

Besides this you should read YA Wadoodo and YA Salaamo 21 times everyday.

May Allah will make it easy for you. Ameen!

[Editor's note]
Kindly review some of the advices on
'Happy Marriage ' Living with Peaceand Harmony at Home' at our main page
http://islameasy.org/Marriage_Advice.php

Cure for depression
http://islameasy.org/Cure_Depression.php

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

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